Never Alone

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Risk Connection – Even Through Our Wounds


This morning on CBS Sunday morning, Naomie Harris, staring in the powerful movie Moonlight, was interviewed.  I found her reflective and very wise about risking connection.  She was referring to the characters in the movie, but she was also speaking to the human condition when she said, “We all move through our woundedness in search of connection.”

So often people tell me, “I can’t connect because I’m wounded.”  I passionately believe, however, that my wounds are the map on the road to connection.  My wounds do generate caution and armoring.  They also stimulate my awareness of longing and need.  The are a call to develop discernment and trust.  It is my woundedness that, ultimately, propels me to seek connection if I allow it.  It is a call to risk connection.

Consider the possibility that the knowledge that we’re not going to make it through life alone is a gift more than a burden.  Our fear of connection is fertile ground for tapping.

On Karate Chop point:

Even though I resist connecting because I’m afraid of getting hurt, I accept myself, even this part of me.

Even though reaching out can feel risky, and I’m not always sure it’s worth it, I’m open to having new insight.

Even though I feel caution, I’m open to hope because I need and deserve loving contact.

Move on to each of your tapping points.  Then, tell the truth, tell the truth, tell the truth about your fears and caution.  Don’t force.  Follow the trail of truth to the roots of your fears.  Notice what comes up.  You may find issues for future tapping.*  You may also find that you just work through the layers of old beliefs fueling present fears that are ready to be retired.    Possibly, invite awareness of spiritual connection.  Reaching out to feel Divine Presence and feeling safe in that connection  can often make us more brave to risk allowing human love to reach our hearts.  Keep tapping, mercifully.

*For a great resource to help if your tapping brings up lots of issues, click on the link below for my colleague, Dena Rosenbloom’s,  great workbook  Life After Trauma

How can I help?


I dropped an apple at the grocery store earlier today. Those thin plastics bags are really slippery, no? I felt the momentary temptation to put the apple back in the pile and select another. Yes, but then somebody else might take home a bruised apple. I didn’t like the feeling of that. So, I studied the apple in question for a moment, noticing several unique aspects of coloring and shape so I could recognize it and popped it in my slippy bag with the others. I’ll eat that one first. It felt good to not contribute to a stranger’s distress.

As I drove home, I thought about a workshop I’d conducted a couple of weeks ago. I was startled when putting out afternoon snacks to find that a package of cookies was actually a package of crumbs. Who dropped it? Did they even know? Did they put it back on the shelf and take another not caring? We’ll never know. Maybe.

What I do know is that kindness is an antidote to indifference. Each time I manage to be mindful enough to choose kindness, I hope I’m cancelling a moment of thoughtlessness (sometimes my own in a less mindful moment). I can interrupt the constant trail of “proof” that someone else is going through the world registering that “no one cares”. I interrupt, for one brief moment, the chain of broken cookies. I’m leaving little energetic, anonymous notes that say “I care. You’re not alone. Not everyone is trying to get you.”.

What if, the next time you bring home a perfect apple or big, round, whole cookies, you stop for a second a wonder if someone else kept the flawed one so you wouldn’t be disappointed? Isn’t perspective wonderful?